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I used to think I was just a regular guy, but I was born white,
which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a
fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a
fascist.
I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a
homophobe. I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working
class and an ally of big business. I am a Christian, which now
labels me as an infidel.
I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the
vast gun lobby. I am older than 60 and retired, which makes me a
useless old man. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that
the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.
I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which
makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I
appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a
right-wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair
compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes
me an anti-socialist.
I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all
citizens, which now makes me a militant. Please help me come to
terms with the new me… because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!
I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through
these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking! I just
can’t imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly! Funny
…it’s all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!
As if all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with… I'm now afraid to
go into either restroom!