The economy is so bad that I've been getting pre-declined credit card
offers in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"
Obama is now playing miniature golf.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you've gotta
call them and ask if they mean you or them .
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
There's a new soda called 6 Up.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning
their kid's names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Moveon moved out.
Congress says they are going to look further into the Bernard Madoff
scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being
investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And get this...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, I called
the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When
I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive
a truck...
